Friday, June 20, 2008

the new valencia st.

so i've been in san francisco this week, and i'm literally astounded as to how many fixies i've seen. starting with a packed dolores park, then rvca on haight, which i think is a store that sells clothing but has no less than five track bikes in the windows, and then down at the 16th/18th and valencia/guerrerro bar scene, i was continually shocked to see so many more brakeless fixed gears than i remember just six months ago. not monstrosities either; usually, these are somewhere in the 'very nice' range and often in the 'vanity' category, and more often than not there are about twenty of them all parked together. this tells me three things: one, there are exponentially more hipsters, and more hipsters riding fixed in sf now than there were last summer. two, they have either decided to spend more on expensive off-the-rack track bikes, or have completely exhausted the region's supply of decades-old ten speeds. three, as more hipsters bike up, sloshball has apparently lost some of its near-universal appeal, and kids can finally play soccer next to the tennis courts in dolores park again like they're supposed to.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

regain your senses!

jeez luís, gotta apologize for the lag in postings here. please keep in mind, however, that as a college student i have finals and the like, and don't work in a cubicle where i can mess around as much as i like when i know my boss isn't looking (thanks to a complex system of mirrors, plans for which i already have, should the day come when the need were to arise.) thus this blog will not be updated daily, weekly, or even strictly on a monthly level. instead, new content will appear whenever it feels like appearing, no more and no less, much like fleetwood mac albums or the herp.

in other news, i was much saddened to hear of the death of the great journalist Tim Russert. (please note, name capitalized out of respect.) for anyone who watches as much msnbc/cnbc/cnn as i do, this is quite a blow to the political news junky organ, which by the way is located in the gut, right next to where you feel truthiness.

Friday, May 23, 2008

the rest of the pack

i'm obviously kind of a straggler here on the internet bike scene. there were some here a long time ago, and others are even newer and less professional than me, which frankly is embarassing for them. but as a favor to anyone who's looking for, godforbid, even more bike blog smack for your crazy bike blog jonze, here are a few other websites working with roughly the same intent:

firstly, bikeblogcollection is the premier source. bikesnobnyc is kind of the snarky hillary-clinton-as-president-humor that cyclists love, and though not focused on the fixed, always wryly  entertaining.

appropriately for a sport that rejoices in bright colors and flashy garb, there's a boatload of blogs dedicated to looking good. the sartorialist/cyclists of the tweed cycling club warm my heart greatly. these dudes and 'lady cyclists' hold it down for the old school, and i mean old school. their ladies no doubt enjoy london cycle chic. also check out their danish counterparts at copenhagen cycle chic (and please note that the url is, hilariously, copenhagengirlsonbikes.) the danes are a little more on the eurotrashy side, but california's own riding pretty is no less enamored with europe's supermodels. i love these sites; low-budget, yet classy. they make me want to register a domain name for 'hot babes on bikes' or something. better google that. as far as i know, none of these have much for fixed-gear especially, but there's some killer pictures of gorgeous classic cruisers, all lovingly adorned with the greatest accessory a cycle can have. by which i mean, a hot chick.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

complainering time

i just spent the weekend in airports, so i'm in a complainy mood. bear with me.

what's with fuckin airlines? how do they get away with overbooking every single flight? i swear i saw about 8 people kicked off their reservation this weekend. and don't even get me started on security - i was at sfo, and the loudspeaker's in the background every two minutes with  "we are now at terror alert level orange" as we wait in a line that is so long it blocks access to all of the united checkin counter, and when i finally get up to the security check, the dude is sitting in a fuckin lawn chair and directing foot traffic with a FAKE INDIAN ACCENT. AND HE IS NOT INDIAN. seriously bro, you have 'tsa' written all over your damn shirt, it's an ORANGE ALERT, and you are GOOFING OFF. why then, i ask, do i have to take off my RUBBER FLIP FLOPS and XRAY THEM? ridiculous. at least i can take solace in the fact that in two years of flying around the country with as much as an ounce of weed, i've never ever been even close to caught. hahaha motherfucker.

also, there's way too many people on fixies doing the over-the-bars leg-kick dismount. you look retarded. stop it. try out for the rockettes, or ride bikes, do not do mix the two. 

in other news, i've discovered the wondrous hilarity that is online translation. i've been bouncing english phrases off dutch, and coming up with great nonsense. i'll do it soon and you see if you can figure it out. for bonus points, correctly guess which language it bounced off.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

myanmar (formerly burma) update

yesterday i speculated on the ethical dilemma presented by providing aid to the regime in myanmar. aid is in from the u.n., and u.s. aid is expected on monday. but check out what the generals did with it. who saw this coming? i did. i have predicted the future once again.

for the record, i also take credit for those sunglasses kanye west wears in the stronger video, not to mention these, which are ever so popular at the moment. 

by the way, what's with the hatred for hipsters recently? seems like every day i come across another website like this one, just spouting vitriol in the general direction of anyone 18-34 and wearing jeans that fit. i don't get it. do these haters really care that much, or are they just jealous? it might be kind of an east coast thing, because a lot of these message boards and blogs look like they're boston and nyc based, but let's hope that kind of hate doesn't make it across the rockies. we don't need those bad vibes, man. don't hate the player, hate the game.

ride report to follow; i'm taking the roadie out later today. peace me bredren! 

Friday, May 9, 2008

if only everybody watched as much cable news as i do

jeez. i'm sitting here watching wolf blitzer explain the situation in myanmar (formerly burma), intercut with clips of a pickup truck taking flight in virginia, and all i want to do is go for a ride. unfortunately, i am beset once again by crappy weather and a mysterious profusion of flats. (full disclosure: the weather isn't that crappy, it's just overcast, and i know damn well that the flats are caused by all the broken forty bottles outside my apartment. but back to the subject at hand.) 

the u.s. and the u.n., along with many other, smaller organizations, are planning on providing aid to the victims of the cyclone that hit myanmar last week. this presents an interesting ethical diversion: in contrast to the massive aid provided after the tsunami that hit thailand and much of the surrounding area in 2004, myanmar is ruled by a fascist military junta. so aid good; aid to non-elected authoritarians, good? 

the u.s. and the u.n. are actually waiting for permission from these assholes to provide all this aid. i mean, come on, you need the aid to help your devastated, starving and thirsty people, and you won't let it into your country because ... why? is the fear that your downtrodden populace, after decades under harsh rule, will finally see that there's a better way out there? hmm?

i'm all worked up, time to go sweat it out on the highways.
peace be unto y'all.

Monday, May 5, 2008

got gears?

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